I never told you but I meant to.
I promise to be honest on this blog. I will never pretend to be anything I’m not.
While I offer advice about depression because I’ve been there, done that, and know what I’m talking about, I still have some days when I’m feeling bad.
Today is one of those. Remember when I told you that there is always a reason for our sudden drop in mood, even if we don’t recognize it?
Well, this afternoon, after a very productive day I’ve started to feel a little low. And I’m having difficulty finding the trigger so I’m writing this in real time and letting you in on my thinking and the process I use when I’m feeling like this. This is totally unedited.
- I’ve cleaned and have a box of stuff to take to Goodwill.
- It has been a good day. I had a good devotional time this morning.
- I’m going to my small group tonight. (It’s four couples from our church.)
- We visited our dear friends up north yesterday. It was a great visit.
- I talked to my best friend today. She seems distant.
- I’m trying to find time to write this book. I’m prioritizing my time well.
- Maybe I can’t write this book. Maybe I won’t see it through.
Bingo.
I did all this without any prior thought. I just started writing. Do you see what I see?
My friend seemed distant. A drop in mood,
I’m feeling like a failure because I can’t find time to write every day.
And there you have it.
Those last two thoughts are what caused my mood to drop.
I can tell you honestly the mere fact of writing this down made me realize what the triggers were. And that’s pretty consistent with me. If I feel someone is distant, then they don’t like me anymore. If I’m not doing what I think I should be doing, I feel like a failure.
So now that I’ve identified them, what do I do?
- My friend. Actually, I’ve been distant with her as often as she has been with me. It doesn’t mean anything when I do it and it doesn’t mean anything when she does.
Check.
- The book. I’m the only one stopping myself from writing this book. I’m sabotaged myself. I can change that.
Check.
How am I feeling now? I would love to tell you I’m perfectly fine now. My mood has improved but I’m not totally better. But that’s OK. Now, I can deal with it and I know I will soon feel better.
So that’s how you do it. When we figure out our triggers, it doesn’t mean we’re immediately better. It does mean we will be.
“God, thank you for loving me enough to show me the parts of myself that get in the way of my relationship with you. These were not big things, Lord, but I made them that way. Encourage me with the writing of the book. Help me love my friend and overlook this.”
I hope this very impromptu and totally unedited post has helped.
God bless. Have a good night.
I may not post tomorrow as you’re getting this one tonight.
The post, “Being honest tonight. This might help you”. appeared first on thegiftofdepression.
