Your Relationship With You

On the surface, it seems an odd idea that you could actually be anything other than who you really are. But from the time we can talk, we’re being programmed to “fit in”. We find ourselves conforming in order to please the people we love, and who love us. Sometimes that means that we suppress what we know is the real person inside.

And yet, your relationship with yourself is one of the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Without a healthy relationship with yourself, it’s practically impossible to have healthy relationships with anyone else. (Thank goodness God gets beyond our unhealthy selves. Right?)

If you’re ready to get reacquainted with someone you haven’t seen in a while – yourself – start with these 4 ideas to help you rediscover the real you.

Quiet the noise in your head

You know those familiar voices all too well — the ones that gently nag you to pick up the dry cleaning, have a conversation with the school teacher, manage the bills, book the vet, and keep your boss satisfied. With all that clamor around you, it can feel overwhelming and nearly impossible to hear anything above the noise. This recognition is crucial; it’s the first step toward finding the peace you seek.

Things that clear our minds.

Quieting the noise in our heads can be a challenging but worthwhile endeavor. Here are some strategies that may help:

Limit Technology. Constantly checking social media or emails can contribute to a noisy mind. Setting boundaries on technology use and taking regular breaks from screens can help create space for a quieter mind.

Writing can be a therapeutic way to declutter your mind. Writing can help you process your emotions, gain clarity, and relieve mental noise. It can just be a sentence or two.

Engage in physical exercise. Walking, running, yoga, or dancing can help clear your mind and improve your mood.

Express yourself through creative activities. Painting, drawing, writing, cooking, baking, gardening, and so many others can help channel your thoughts, reducing mental noise.

Remember that quieting the noise in our heads is a gradual process, and it may require patience and persistence. It’s important to find what works best for you and to be gentle with yourself along the way.

Think about yourself in healthy ways

In order to do that, you must first believe that you are valuable and you have something to offer the world. Since you talk to yourself more than everyone else in your life combined -that’s a lot of talk!—it’s up to YOU to establish healthy communication in your thinking.

Consciously listen to how you talk to yourself, as this internal dialogue plays a significant role in shaping your self-esteem and mental well-being. Write down the unhealthy things you say, whether they are harsh criticisms or negative assumptions. Take a moment to reflect on these statements; challenge their validity and consider the impact they have. God says you are wonderfully and fearfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

Replace them with facts that highlight your strengths and achievements.

For example, Self-Talk: “You never do anything right.” Challenge: “Of course I do things right. I did (example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just made a mistake. I’ll learn from it and have better success next time.”

Listen to your heart

Sounds easy enough, but by the time we’re adults, most of us have stopped listening to our hearts and go only with our heads, often prioritizing logic and reason over our genuine emotions. Those two must reconnect in order to find your real self.

The heart and mind share a delicate balance that is crucial for our personal growth. It’s easy to become accustomed to thinking about your feelings instead of actually feeling. This leads to a disconnect that can leave us feeling detached.

By allowing ourselves to embrace emotions without judgment, we can rediscover our passions, cultivate deeper relationships, and ultimately live more fulfilling lives. Our intellect and our heart’s yearning are aligned.

Don’t get hung up on a specific goal

What you’re really after is a feeling — respect, love, appreciation– as opposed to things like a promotion or a relationship. Keep an open mind to the feelings, and be willing to adjust the methods you use to achieve them. Determine not just your goals, but how it satisfies who you really are. The mask will come off and your real self will come shining through.

A person you can know and love – you! – is waiting for you to take the time to listen, understand, and accept. When you accept your real self again, you’ll make smarter choices, and those choices will stick because they actually fit who you are. Now, that’s what you’re really looking for, isn’t it?

I hope this helped.

God bless, and have a great week.