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Why Timing is important for good mental health

Timing is important in all areas of our lives.

Timing is important in all areas of our lives, but especially for managing our mental health.

(I wrote this many years ago, and it’s still true. I’ve edited it, but mostly, it’s as I wrote then. I’m sharing it now because, with my recent diagnosis, I find I’m having to revisit the importance of timing. The new material is designated as written in 2025.))

Today, I’m addressing timing for those times when you’re feeling down. In the past, I’ve addressed the importance of “physical movement” in battling depression. Reaching out to people when you’re depressed is important. But in all these things, timing is everything.

Depression is not helped by keeping to yourself as much as it feels like it is at the time.

We need others

Especially when we’re depressed.

For example, yesterday. I’m not clinically depressed at all now and haven’t been for about fifteen years, but I have been a little “down” lately because of my mother’s health. It’s been tough. And the sciatica pain doesn’t help. I could stay home each day and nurse my wounds and feel sorry for myself. But in the long run, I need to be around other people.

Schedule time for people

I have learned that no matter how I feel, I make it a point to be with family and friends, as their companionship brings warmth that can brighten even the coldest of days. During cold weather, when the chill seems to seep through every crack, I would just as soon curl up with a good book and hot tea, snuggling under my electric blanket, creating a cozy haven where time feels suspended and letting the outside world fade away.

And while that’s OK on occasion, it should never be to avoid dealing with life unless, of course, it’s one of those times when you have to.

Here are some ideas for ways to step into the world and engage with people that will help you manage your depression. I found some of these particularly effective.

engaging in public

When I was severely depressed, going out in public was really hard. I felt like everyone was looking at me and judging me. For what, I didn’t know. I would feel very confused if I had to make a decision, especially shopping for groceries. What to fix for dinner? Way too many choices. If I went to a department store, I couldn’t really enjoy myself because I thought I looked depressed and everyone would know.

I share this with you because depression is as much about timing as it is anything else. Seriously. It’s the timing of many of these activities that makes us or breaks us. Only you know if being around people will unnerve you or make you anxious. But at the same time, don’t give in to your first instinct. I used to do a lot of that, and one of the steps I used to defeat depression was to do what was right for me in the long run, no matter how I felt in the present.

(I’m still very cognizant of the importance of timing in my life in this year, 2025.) With all these suggestions, it’s important to speak to people you encounter, even if it’s just “Hello.”

Ways to socialize.

Take a walk outside. Speak to whomever you encounter. It’s kind of amazing how a little “Hi, there, beautiful day, huh?”
Nice weather? Ride a bike.
Go to a coffee shop. Drink your special coffee drink and read a book or a magazine.
Visit a bookstore.
Go window-shopping at the mall. Don’t actually try on anything unless you’re very happy with your appearance that day.
Browse a furniture store.
How about a flower shop? Maybe buy yourself a flower.
Small specialty shops are great. They’re less stressful because there are fewer people.
Gather up some paint chips from your favorite big box store.
Fabric and craft stores are great places to browse as well, and they inspire lots of new ideas. Even if you’re not “crafty,” you will enjoy the color of the fabric and paper.
For me, Goodwill and thrift stores have always been good places to browse
Visit a friend. (You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to talk about.)
Call a friend.
If you live in a big city, you have lots of options: museums, art galleries, etc.
Make a coffee date with someone. You can keep it short. (Can you tell I like my coffee?)
Ask someone over. (Don’t make this more complicated than it needs to be. I used to do that, too.)
Go to the library. (Of course, don’t talk too loud.)
Bake something and take it to someone.

Timing and Plowing through.

I found all the above difficult to do when I felt so terrible, but I did them anyway. Not every day and not for long. The amount of time I spent doing these things varied.

Let’s face it: It’s really hard to maintain a cheerful disposition when you don’t feel like it. But the more people you come into contact with, and the more you smile, the better it is for you, even if it doesn’t feel that way at the time.

That’s the hard part about depression. So much of the recovery demands great effort at a time when you have no effort to give.

But you can do this. I’m no saint, and I’m not Wonder Woman, so if I did it, you can, too.

Life interrupts

(Written now, 2025) As with most everything in life, timing is everything. This is especially true when dealing with depression and/or anxiety. While I’m not dealing with these issues today, I am dealing with this new Afib diagnosis. Not the illness, the medication. It’s difficult to know when I need to rest or not. My natural instinct is not to rest, but the medication is wearing me out.

I have two more appointments this week and am hoping for some clarification. One is a stress test (Dye injection, not elliptical machine) that we hope will provide some answers.

I was having coffee with a dear friend this morning, and she said the same thing. She finds herself asking her husband, “Was I productive enough today?” While I don’t do that, I do have a propensity to judge my activity each day. Did I accomplish what I set out to do?

There comes a point

But there comes a point when we need to put that aside and let our bodies call the shots. But for the most part, ask yourself,

Is this a good day for spending time with someone who is somewhat contentious, or is there a better time?

Would it be better to put this off until tomorrow?

Is this the best time to have this conversation?

Will this zap my energy? etc.

If you struggle with either depression or anxiety, when you do something is almost as important as when you do it.

Timing from God’s word.

Finally, what does God’s word say about timing? I might write another post this week about timing and remind you of the many examples in God’s word where timing was everything. Even Jesus used timing as a tool. Did you know that?

I wanted to get this post out earlier, so I buzzed around this morning, trying to get everything done so I could spend the day writing. AFib said otherwise, so I lost two hours to a nap. But then I remembered those famous verses from Ecclesiastes about timing. You can find them in chapter two. When I reread them, I thought about God’s will.

Decisions to be made

I could have shortened my devotional time this morning but I didn’t. That would have given me more time. My neighbor and her husband are going through a tough time so I wanted to fix them dinner. I wanted something yummy when they came home from their doctor’s visit.

I figured this post wouldn’t get out today, but here it is. There’s a part of me that wants to write for some more hours today, but the body is saying otherwise. I have another book to get started, one I’m working on, and a short e-book I’m really excited about. But God knows all this because he commissioned them in the first place. They will get done. Will it all get done? Meaning all the other things I want to do? No, it probably won’t.

But what will get done is what God decides should get done.

So, if you’re like me, and illness is taking up much of your time, do what I do. Think of your downtime as a time to plan and dream. Use your imagination. When you have the strength, you will have the plans ready. I can’t tell you how much I write as I fall off to sleep. And it’s usually better than when I’m working so hard. These last few paragraphs wouldn’t have even been written had I not been laid low this week.

God bless, and I hope you have a good day.

Category anxiety