FEELINGS: How to reconcile them with our faith
Table of Contents
- Who manages their feelings well?
- We chastise ourselves needlessly.
- Reconciliation of feelings with faith
- A plan for your feelings.
- Related posts
Our feelings and emotions are ours, not someone else’s, ours.
We don’t have to defend them, explain them, or try to make them go away. They are not sinful. But we do have to examine them in light of our faith. Is our faith weakened when our emotions are all over the place? Does faith mean we always have our emotions under control?
I can answer that last question first.
Who manages their feelings well?
If you were going to answer heroes in the Bible, you’d be very wrong.
To prove that point, I could name every person in the Bible and show where they each had issues with controlling their emotions. Of course, I won’t because it would mean listing the name of every person mentioned anywhere in scripture. Every one of them expressed emotions, from joy to sadness, anger to revenge, every emotion you can think of. And yet, some of the worst offenders were giants of the faith: Moses, David, and Peter, to mention only three.
So, obviously, emotions, by themselves, aren’t the problem.
But doesn’t faith mean we are supposed to be able to keep our feelings in check?
Actually, it doesn’t. However, the Bible does contain principles that can keep our feelings and emotions from interfering with our faith. But it can be really hard. As you know, my one and only sibling died two weeks ago. The funeral was on Saturday. What was strange was that I felt pretty emotionless during the funeral itself. Obviously, that was denial, and my body was protecting itself from damage, like how skin closes over a wound so it can heal. I feel sad because I am the only one left in what was our small nuclear family. I feel fear. How many more people will I lose?
We chastise ourselves needlessly.
The worst part about this? The waves of chastisement I have tortured myself with. I’ve questioned my faith. Why aren’t I stronger in my faith? Shouldn’t I feel secure because of my position in Christ? Why do I feel this way? These feelings cause me to question my beliefs and doubt my relationship with God.
And you know who loves it when I’m like this?
Satan.
He loves nothing better than when we allow him entrance into our lives because we can’t separate our feelings from our faith. Because we feel emotions we shouldn’t, we despair because we think we aren’t supposed to. But feelings are a part of faith.
Faith doesn't mean the absence of feelings any more than feelings, even negative ones, mean the absence of faith. Share on XThe Bible verse that most directly addresses our feelings singles out fear and anxiety—both the same, really. (Philippians 4:6) I find this very interesting because the truth is that fear lies at the root of all our emotions. If we are angry, it’s because of fear. When we’re sad, it’s because of fear. When we’re proud and boastful, fear is the catalyst. I wrote about fear a couple of weeks ago.
So, maybe that’s where we begin when we’re struggling with some feelings, their origin first, fear. Then, of course, we realize that what is true for us has been true of mankind since the beginning of time. A modern acronym, FOLO (fear of losing out), is what prompted Adam and Eve to do what they did.
But that doesn’t tell us how to reconcile our feelings with our faith.
Reconciliation of feelings with faith
Obviously, admit them and don’t try to call them something they’re not. You are feeling what you are feeling. Full stop. Don’t you think the heroes of the Bible all felt chagrined when they couldn’t keep their emotions in check? Why do we think they were any different from us? We’ve made them into such pillars of faith, we can’t see them as human. And they were.
A plan for your feelings.
Try these steps:
- Admit to God how you’re feeling. Don’t sugarcoat; be brutally honest about your emotions, whether they are pain, joy, confusion, or fervor. It’s essential to articulate your true self in this moment of vulnerability.
- Ask God to help you understand yourself and your feelings better, guiding you through the complexities of your emotions and helping you find clarity in your thoughts and actions.
- Find Scripture for future times and write it out somewhere you can easily access, such as in a journal or a digital note-taking app. Include it on your phone so you can refer to it whenever you need encouragement or guidance throughout your day.
- Have a plan for the future. In other words, the next time you feel anger swelling up inside you, take a moment to breathe deeply and have a comprehensive plan for handling it effectively. Then, find the verse you’ve saved, reflect on its meaning, and repeat it as a prayer in your mind or out loud, allowing its words to bring you peace and clarity in that moment.
- Finally, remember you are human. Seriously. As a believer, you are not feeling-free. On the contrary, you might feel more than a non-Christian because you are trying to please God and are more sensitive to your failings. This heightened sensitivity can manifest in various ways, often leading you to reflect deeply on your actions, choices, and the impact they have on your spiritual journey and on those around you. It’s crucial to embrace your humanity fully, recognizing that each struggle and moment of vulnerability contributes to your growth and understanding as a person of faith.
Who needs a judge and jury when we have our conscience?
We followers of Christ are often our own judge and jury. We condemn ourselves when even God doesn’t. It’s hard for us to believe a divine being, the creator of all, can have such compassion and forgiveness. And if you have a particularly overly developed conscience, like me, you can bring your mood down in a heartbeat because you are judging your feelings—feelings that no one but you probably even knows.
The other day, my husband and I had planned on making homemade pizzas. I was really upset with myself because of the fatigue that Afib can bring. Earlier, I had laid down on the sofa to rest for a few minutes and unintentionally asleep. I was overwhelmed with irritability when I woke up because I hate this Afib, and I don’t like my life so subject to its unpredictable flares.
Later that evening, I apologized to my husband for being so sharp with him while we were fixing the pizzas. He hadn’t even noticed! But I knew how I was feeling inside, and if I’d just said it aloud, “I’m ticked. I hate this, ” I probably wouldn’t have chastised myself for two hours.
That’s how not being upfront with yourself about your feelings can bring a host of other problems. As always, when writing a post like this, it’s easy to think that your feelings are an excuse for your behavior. They are not! But as long as we don’t confront them, you can bet your behavior will be negatively impacted.
Don’t be afraid to confront your feelings; to be brutally honest. It truly is the only way to gain control over them.
I hope you have a good rest of your week.
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