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Part 3: Fearless, But Now In Fear: Walking with Elijah

📖 Please Read First: 1 Kings 19 (Fear)

When the Brave Hit the Wall

If you had watched Elijah walk off Mount Carmel, you would never have guessed what was coming. He had just called down fire from heaven. He had outrun the king’s chariot in the power of the Lord. The drought was over, the rain was falling, and the false prophets were gone. By every visible measure, he was at the top.

But then a message arrived.

One message. From one woman. And Elijah, the same man who had stood unflinching before 450 prophets, ran. Not walked. Not retreated strategically. He ran for his life, collapsed under a juniper tree, and told God he was done. “It is enough, Lord. Take my life.”

We’ve All Known This Fear

I have read that passage more times than I can count, and it still stops me every time. Because I think most of us have been there, maybe not in those exact words, but with that exact feeling. The feeling that comes after the big moment, after the long fight, after you’ve given everything you have, and then one more thing comes at you and you just… break.

An example

It’s been a rough few months. I get over one illness, injury and something else comes along. I’m a pretty fearless person, but only when I feel strong. Lately, I’ve felt very weak. And, yes, I’ve been broken a few times, meaning I’ve gotten very discouraged. That said, It’s not who I am usually so it throws me for a loop when I feel less than motivated and less energetic. But it’s not a character flaw; it’s a being human flaw.

I had been feeling really good, despite my Afib. We were at our cabin, and I became ill enough to require an Urgent Care visit. But, of course, they were all closed and so it turned out to be an ER visit. And aren’t those a ton of fun? When I read these chapters in 1 Kings. Elijah’s story struck a chord within me. I felt like hiding in a cave myself. Like, what can go wrong next? I’m sure there are many of you who know that feeling.

Elijah’s fear of Jezebel wasn’t a character flaw either. It was a very human response to exhaustion, isolation, and the particular kind of dread that comes when someone powerful sets their sights on destroying you. He was spent. And spent people are vulnerable people. I know what that feels like (Thank goodness, though, no one is out to destroy me.), which is perhaps why I wanted to write this series of posts. (I should tell you, in case I haven’t already, Elijah never met Jezebel. There is no indication anywhere in Scripture. But isn’t that usually the case? We are often afraid of something or someone we never actually encounter.)

God’s Presence in the Time of Fear

What God did next is one of the most tender things in all of Scripture. He didn’t rebuke Elijah. He didn’t remind him of everything he’d just accomplished, or say pull yourself together, prophet. Instead, God sent an angel — twice — who touched him and said simply, “Arise and eat.” There was bread baked on coals and a jar of water. That’s it. No sermon. No vision. Just food, rest, and the quiet presence of God meeting a broken man exactly where he was. I think there is more theology packed into that moment than in many books I’ve read.

God is not embarrassed by our exhaustion. He is not disappointed by our collapse. He meets us there.

As I sat on the deck reading and writing, I felt that same tenderness. When I’m sick, I feel weak and open to negative influences. Illness feels like a burden. Normally, I’m a strong woman, but when I’m unwell, my thoughts stray to dark places. That’s my Jezebel.

After Elijah had rested and eaten, God sent him on a forty-day journey to Horeb — the mountain of God. And when he arrived, he crawled into a cave. God asked him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” And out poured everything he had been carrying: I’m the only one left. I’ve been zealous for You, and it hasn’t mattered. They’ve killed your prophets, and now they want to kill me. There is something so honest and so raw about that moment. Elijah wasn’t editing himself for God. He was saying exactly what he felt, even if what he felt wasn’t entirely accurate. And God let him say it. Then He said, “Go stand on the mountain.”

Whispering Fear Away

What followed was extraordinary. A great wind tore through the mountains. An earthquake shook the ground. Fire swept through. But God was not in any of it. And then, that still small voice. A gentle whisper. And that is where God was. I find that profoundly meaningful, especially in light of everything Elijah had just experienced.

He had seen the spectacular. He had been part of the fire, the drama, and the power. However, what restored him, what called him back to himself and back to his calling, was not another miracle. It was a whisper. Sometimes what we need most is not another mountaintop experience. Sometimes we just need to get quiet enough to hear God speak.

And speaking of this, I find it interesting that during that very day of the evening ER visit, I had begun reading again, perhaps my favorite book, Hearing God, by Dallas Willard. I remember thinking that entire day how I wanted to be more sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit.

Later, as we were eating dinner, and I said to my husband, “I think we need to go to an Urgent Care”. I had no idea I was going to say that, but the minute I did, I knew it was a Holy Spirit prompt. I had ignored symptoms, and in that moment, I knew there was something wrong. The admitting nurse told me that if I had not come in, I would’ve been in serious trouble.

Fear Doesn’t Mean We Stop

But God didn’t let Elijah retire under that juniper tree. And He didn’t let me either. Instead, He gave him new assignments, a companion in Elisha, and a gentle correction: there are seven thousand in Israel who have not bowed to Baal. You are not alone. You never were. Those words— you are not alone — may be the most important thing God said to Elijah in that entire chapter.

Because fear, at its core, is a lie that says you are on your own.

Jezebel’s threat had made Elijah feel utterly isolated, and isolation is where fear does its worst work. But God’s answer to fear is never simply “be braver”. His answer is, “I am with you”. That was true for Elijah. And it is just as true for you today.

💬 A Moment to Reflect

What is your “Jezebel”, the one thing, the one person, the one fear that has the power to undo you even after great victories? Bring it to God honestly today, the way Elijah did. You don’t have to clean it up first. Ask God to meet you where you are, to feed you what you need, and to help you hear His whisper above the noise of whatever is chasing you. You are not alone, and you never have been.

God bless and have a wonderful fearless day.