inspirational, motivational, encouragement
DEPRESSION, LIFE

When the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t shining

I am reposting this from a number of years ago with some updates. I had only been blogging for about five months when I wrote this but I was expecting to be a big hit right off the bat. Periodically, I like to go back to the beginning and read some of my earliest posts as they remind me of how far I’ve come.

And I thought of many of you and just wanted to add that so much that is worthwhile in our life takes time to accomplish. Not just tasks but relationships, our faith, really everything in our lives.

People aren’t usually overnight successes. In fact, often when some “new” face appears on the scene, no matter what their field, we often think, “Wow, I never heard of them before and all of a sudden they’re famous”. Not true. The fast majority of these people will tell you they had worked hard for years before they got to where they were in their particular field of endeavor.

I forget, but how many times did Edison’s light bulb experiments fail before they succeeded? I think it was in the thousands. But when it finally worked and the lights came on (excuse the pun), he was probably considered an overnight sensation as well.

It’s in those dark moments we have to just literally put one foot in front of the other ’till we get to where we want to go.

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So it helps if we have kept journals or notes or something. I have never been good at keeping journals but I do have half-filled journals and lots of papers where I’ve scribbled my thoughts. My Bible and my devotional books are full of notes. My friends know they cannot loan me any books as I will mark it up and make notes so they don’t loan me any. (I have plenty of my own anyway.)

When we are feeling in a dark place, we must always remember that it won’t stay dark forever. I had a pastor friend years ago who took me under his wing and nurtured my faith. He made this statement that to this day has brought me through a lot:

Never doubt in the dark what God has revealed in the light.

God’s revelations are a constant. His word is a constant. It doesn’t matter how dark it gets, this remains true.

This past week it has been cloudy and no sun for three days now. Yuck. I’m not feeling “down” today but just a little miffed about the weather which is why I decided to look back at some old posts. It’s not nice enough to do anything outside and I’m kind of between tasks at the moment. So that’s when I found this and decided to share it.

Let me share what happened the other day.  I was ready to quit blogging and I love blogging.  I love the thought that someone might be helped by what I write.  If I could help people battle through their depression and come out on the other side, it will be worth it.  

I live in Michigan where can go for more than a week without sunshine.  Sometimes we get a glimpse for a few hours but then it turns dark again. When that happens, I like to “spiritualize” it a little.  I remind myself that “C’est la vie”,  such is life. No matter how gray are my personal clouds, the sun eventually shines through. I just have to tread water till it does.

So three days ago, I said, “That’s it.  I’m done.”  I decided that while I would continue my blogging, it was going to be put on the back burner. It had become a natural extension of my morning routine.  Coffee (two cups), a little tv news, get dressed, have my “quiet time” with God, blog, and start my day.

I would seriously miss it.

I went to my computer.  Then, whoa, “what to my wondering eyes should appear?” Two new followers. Not that impressive, right?

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Except one of them was a Psychiatrist from Germany. I figured he was probably some wacko (I seem to attract them). I checked him out. Not only did he have great credentials and a great blog,  our views were very compatible.  I read one of his posts and felt so validated. I let him know what an encouragement his “following” means.

It has been months since I started this blog and the learning curve has been so steep, I’ve wanted to sit down and cry at times. But I preserved and now I can talk “blogging”.

Depression is so like that.  It’s a long-distance run not a sprint. That’s what makes it so difficult.

Yesterday, I decided to enter the word “depression” in my computer’s browser.  I scrolled down a few headings and what shows up (be still my heart) but a heading from WordPress that says something like “depression’s gift-A Great WordPress blog“. I yelled for my husband. He thought something was wrong. ( By the way, I saved the page on my computer. If I could frame it, I would.) Remember, this has been months of learning, writing, thinking, pulling my hair out, etc. and finally, the “light at the end of the tunnel.”

Don’t give up no matter what you are struggling with today.

PLEASE!

You have had glimpses of hope. There has been something, someone, some circumstance, something that has been an encouragement in your struggle, no matter how small.  You need to look for it. Even in my darkest moments, there were little snippets of hope that came my way. I see it now. I didn’t then; I didn’t want to.

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I had become too accustomed to my depression.

I hope you have a good day. I am thinking of all of you who are having a “dark” time. I remember my own struggles all too well.

God bless and I hope you have a full-of-light day today.

 

 

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