How to keep Circumstances from stealing our happiness.

The outline

Circumstances are what they are.

Circumstances. They either add to our happiness or take away from it. Sometimes, we create our own circumstances, and other times, life just happens. Is one easier to handle than the other?

Most of us probably figure that if we create our own messes, we should accept our responsibility and not complain about them. That might be true, but no matter who caused the mess we find ourselves in, it’s not easy to find the joy that Jesus promised we could experience “that your joy may be full.”

Can we be content all the time?

While jailed, Paul writes to the Philippians, telling them that he’s learned to be content in every situation (Philippians 4: 13). I wish I could say I’ve learned that as well, but I haven’t. I’m not the only one. But I try. I try because I want to be able to say, like Paul, that I, too, know how to be content in every situation. So, if it helps, I’ll share what I do when I find myself having a pity party.

Approaches to circumstances

My approach

First, I start each day with prayer and Bible study. This is preventative. The more I’m in God’s word, the better I know it and the more I can use it in any circumstance. Prayer keeps me humble and open to the Holy Spirit’s direction. It gives me a chance to offer praise as well. The more honest I am in prayer, the less anxious I feel.

Second, I remind myself I’m not unique. It’s easy to think we’re the only ones struggling, but everyone struggles with something. While we shouldn’t minimize our struggles, it helps to remember that someone else is living under a cloud as well.

Third, I remind myself that life has many bumps in the road and I don’t like bumps. Not even little ones. I’m not fond of any struggle. Is anyone, really? But when I look back over my life, I know that I write now because of those struggles. I know a little something about life because of those struggles. And I believe God allowed them so I would now my purpose. (My book, “More”is all about finding those purposes.)

Fourth, I try to distract myself. This could be puttering in my yard, cleaning or organizing something, reading, visiting a friend, or napping—whatever works. I find that distraction quiets my mind. It’s like it shortcircuits my mind and temporarily shuts off my negative thinking.

A distraction that so captures your attention that time has no meaning is called being in the “zone.” It’s a good place to be.

I decided to reread Philippians four in light of what I wrote above. How did Paul get to verse eight? Was it the same way I did? Yes, and no.

Paul’s approach

Earlier in the chapter, Paul sets the framework for verse thirteen. Let’s look at Paul’s process.

Rejoice, verse 4. This is hard. Rejoice in our sorrow? Rejoice when we don’t feel good? When we’re seriously ill? When we’re grieving? It doesn’t mean we rejoice in the circumstances but that we rejoice in Christ, meaning that we feel joy when we think of him. That’s exactly how Paul said it, “Rejoice in the LORD always.”

Be gentle. I wondered about this one. “Let your gentleness be evident to all.” What does gentleness have to do with being content in our circumstances? How can gentleness help? Well, gentle in this context also means patient and moderate. Looking at it that way makes more sense, doesn’t it?

Don’t be anxious. It’s easier said than done, especially during difficult circumstances. It’s up to each of us to know how this works for us. For example, when I learned I had A-fib, I installed at least three different heart monitoring apps on my phone. I bought a smartwatch—a Kardia mobile device that accurately diagnoses A-fib. You know what happened, don’t you?

circumstances

An example of anxiety

I was constantly monitoring myself. Was my pulse too high? My blood pressure OK? How was my A-fib? Two days ago, I took all the apps off my phone and returned everything else. I don’t need any beeps or alarms going off. I’m on medication, and everything is under control. Enough is enough.

Learn what makes you anxious. Either learn how to handle it or avoid it. Some anxiety you probably can’t learn to handle and would rather simply avoid it. That’s OK in some situations.

Pray. I don’t think I have to elaborate here. Prayer is important—so important that I wrote a book about it.

Practice thankfulness. Being thankful is how we show gratitude. If you’re a Christian and you’re not grateful, if you don’t count your blessings, there’s a problem with your faith. Isn’t that what we hear all the time? And don’t we feel like horrible Christians when we can’t?

circumstances

We are to be thankful for our blessings. But can we be honest? It’s really hard sometimes. And sometimes, we just can’t do it. Maybe that’s exactly why Paul wrote that we should. He knew it was going to be one of the hardest things we ever do, and unless it was emphatic, we might not see the necessity.

Check your thinking. If we could harness our thoughts……….. Capturing our thoughts, as taught in 2 Corinthians 2:5, isn’t easy. Not to mention, capturing our thoughts means thinking about our thinking, which can lead to anxiety! It’s a quandary. That’s why it’s so important to have our thoughts right in the first place, and Paul tells us exactly how.

In a nutshell

Paul writes we are to think good thoughts, about ourselves, others, and the world.

circumstances

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

Whatever is:

  • True”: Think about what aligns with God’s truth. 
  • Noble”: Think about what is honorable and respectable. 
  • Right”: Think about what is just and right. 
  • “Pure”: Think about what is clean and morally upright. 
  • Lovely”: Reflect on what is pleasing and beautiful, often associated with God’s creation and His attributes. 
  • “Admirable”: Consider qualities worthy of respect and commendation. 
  • “Excellent or praiseworthy”: Think about things that are of high quality and worthy of praise.

Good thoughts equal good lives. Hmm…where have I read that before?

Know the source of your strength.

We often think Paul is referring only to his current circumstances—being in prison—but he wasn’t. When we read Paul’s other epistles, we learn that Paul knew the source of his strength from the day Christ interrupted his life on the Damascus road.

We have to recognize our source of strength before it becomes necessary.

“God is my refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble. Therefore, I will not fear. …”Psalm 46:1 & 2a.

A time of crisis is not the time to figure this out.

How Circumstances Steal Our Happiness. How to not let them. Share on X

Don’t let your circumstances determine your happiness.

Blessings to all of you today.