The first Christmas without your loved one
These next couple of weeks are going to be very hard for a number of people, those who have lost a loved one this past year.
I am one of them.
At least with my mom, I expected it. She was ill and in her nineties. But even with all that, this Christmas will be kind of “hollow” if you know what I mean.
There’s an echo where there used to be a voice.
There’s a spirit where there used to be a presence.
There’s one less person at the table.
There’s one less person to buy a gift for.
Loss is hard and especially at Christmas. I think of all those who lost family and friends due to violence, drunk drivers, natural disasters, etc.; that’s even harder. I hold them up in prayer.
Later this week I will be posting about my cookie baking over this past weekend. Last year at this same weekend, I was frosting Christmas cookies with my mom.
Can you believe this is a ninety-two-year-old woman? She was something else.
(I still have the tablecloth.)
When we were baking this past weekend, I found a plastic container to store some cookies. The lid is written all over with notes about what was once in the container. I hand-washed the lid, told hubby to do the same. I have very little in my mom’s handwriting so I’m hanging on to this. I kept her recipes as well for that reason.
One less person to frost cookies with and to laugh about what a bad job she did. She laughed the hardest.
“Hey, mom, I know you hated decorating cookies, but you did it every year because I asked you, too. Thank you.”
The snow is blowing hard today as we are under a winter storm warning. I would be calling her today and we’d be talking about this terrible weather and how glad we both were that we didn’t have to go out.
One less person to talk to about the weather.
But I have more as well. I have people I love and who love me. I have the assurance that I will see my mom again someday. I know she is in God’s arms and is totally at peace. I wouldn’t take that away from her. Not for a minute.
I have the more of God’s grace that we can’t imagine until we need it. I have the more of God’s presence. I feel God’s love more.
When there is the less, God always provides the more. In ways we couldn’t imagine. He has for me.
It’s just a hard day. Hope I didn’t bring you down. This wasn’t going to be the post for today but all of a sudden, there it was. Hopefully, someone is helped by these words.
God bless and have a wonderful day with the people you love.
