Fear Is Really Nothing To Be Afraid Of: The Explanation.

FEAR

Some people are actually afraid of fear. It’s called meta fear. Meta fear is like stacking one emotion on the other If we’ve led a life of fear, we get to the point where we fear the fear itself. We remember how awful fear feels, and when we face the slightest challenge that might evoke fear, the fear of the fear sets in.

What are you afraid of? For some people, it’s things like spiders and snakes. Almost every woman I know is scared of spiders. I don’t like them, but I’m not really afraid of them. Other people are terrified of mice. I don’t like them either, but I can’t say I’m afraid of them.

“Things” we are afraid of

The things that frighten people are too numerous to mention. Lots of times, they are born from childhood experiences that leave lasting impressions on our psyche. For instance, I have a deep-seated fear of deep water, primarily because I almost drowned when I was younger, a terrifying episode that has haunted me ever since.

It was a tranquil lake I had swum across many times without incident. However, this time was different; I unexpectedly got caught in the thick, grasping weeds. I panicked. Despite pulling and thrashing desperately, I found myself struggling to free my limbs. The weight of the water pressing down on me felt like a heavy blanket. Eventually, I did manage to escape, fighting my way to the surface, gasping for air, but I’ve never forgotten the sheer terror of that moment.

Obviously, it’s easy to understand why I’m afraid of being in water over my head. That moment not only instilled a fear of drowning but also a heightened awareness of the unpredictability and potential danger lurking beneath the surface.

But what about those other fears?

“Non–things” we are afraid of

This is where most people experience their greatest fears. Fear of loss, of failure, success, the future, death, etc. All these are internal. Many are universal, but many are specific to us as individuals. I have many fears. Someone told me recently I am so strong. Not true at all. I’ve just learned that appearing strong works for me. The people who know me well know how weak I really am. So here’s one of my fears.

Would you believe I am afraid to market my own books? First of all, you should know I don’t really try to sell my books. While I do sell them through various online outlets and local bookstores, my true focus lies in reaching readers who might not have the resources to purchase them. I concentrate on libraries and any place that offers free books, wanting my books accessible to everyone. This is my personal mission.

To that end, I place my books in lots of those little free libraries that are springing up everywhere. When we travel, I leave my books in airports and hotel rooms for people who might stumble across them. At this point, I’ve left them in five different countries, each time hoping to connect with new readers from diverse backgrounds. I want my books to get to people who need them. That could be considered naive, but I truly believe God is getting them to those who need them.

Sometimes when I sit and agonize over every word and spend hours researching and writing, knowing I’m going to give them away, I ask myself, “Am I nuts?” But I remind myself, this isn’t about money, and it never has been.

My personal fear

So, are you ready for what my personal fear is? (One of them, anyway.)

I’m afraid to go to any library and ask them to place my books into circulation. Last week, I realized that while I’ve sought God’s guidance for every book, and even though I’ve worked hard at perfecting my craft, I was falling short in the marketing area. I justified it because, after all, I wasn’t doing it for the money. Right?

Wrong.

As I thought about it, it became clear that it was just an excuse rooted deep in my fear of rejection. I was expecting God to do what I needed to do. And that was to take my marketing seriously and to actively promote my work. It dawned on me that embracing this part of the journey was just as vital as the writing itself. I needed to step out of my comfort zone to get my books to as many people as possible.

(By the way, self-marketing is something many authors struggle with. It’s also what many writers hate. They just want to write. But writing is so much more than writing. It’s researching, learning a thousand new things, and it’s staying on top of all the new social media outlets out there. And the reason we all hate it is because many of us feel like frauds. We have a hard time calling ourselves writers. It’s called impostor syndrome.)

But I realized God is not going to do the marketing for me, and if I really believe in myself, I have to promote my books. The next morning, I was going to the library, books in hand, and fear or not, I was going to do it.

I had it all planned.

Fear Conquered

The library opens at nine. The plan was: get up, have my devotions, go for my walk, grab my coffee, and be there when they open. Well, as you can probably surmise, the day didn’t go at all as planned. It was 3:00 and I still hadn’t left the house. I told myself, “Enough is enough. You are going to do this.”

I grabbed a coffee and drove to the library. I got out of the car, and with legs trembling, walked up the steps to our granite and sandstone library, turrets, stained-glass windows, and all. It even has frosted glass floors on the second level. It’s a beautiful historic building commissioned by a famous lumber baron, Charles Hackley, in 1880.

I opened the heavy door and walked inside. Seriously, I was trembling when I walked up to the desk and asked for the librarian. I surprised myself and even said I was a writer. Boy, was that hard, saying I was a writer. But no one blinked an eye. No one laughed. No one looked at me askance. They believed I was a writer.

I don’t know why I was so afraid. I’ve never had any library refuse to take my books. Self-publishing is now seen as legitimate as the big publishing houses. It went as you might expect. They were most accommodating, appreciating the fact that I brought them my books. I was so relieved and, might I add, proud, that I had conquered my fear, at least for that time.

Fear will always be my nemesis. I’ll continue to be afraid. I know that. But I will be less afraid. Each time we take a step of faith, in our fear, we gain a victory.

A Mini-Bible Study

This was a little prequel to what is coming next, a mini Bible study on fear. There will be five parts in all. As Christians, we must learn to live out our faith even when we’re afraid because the truth? The truth is that every Christian is afraid of something, whether they admit it or not.

We never conquer all our fears. But we can learn to take first steps even in our fear.

I John 4:18, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” This verse refers to the fact that Christians do not have to fear eternal judgment, because perfect love (Christ) has paid the price for our judgment.

So, if you are a fearful person, I think you will find this study beneficial.

God bless, and have a great day.

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Rebecca

Hi. I'm so glad you're here. My blog focuses on faith and mental health issues such as mood disorders like depression, anxiety, and dysthymia (chronic low moods that don't qualify as depression.) I post DIY and decorating projects when I can. My book, "Depression Has A Big Voice. Make Yours Bigger! (Expanded Edition), is on sale at all online retailers. I have a Psychology degree and post-graduate courses in Clinical Pastoral Education. I am a former hospital chaplain, Bible teacher, and retreat/conference inspirational speaker. Thank you for visiting and may you feel God's presence today.

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