Relationships: Three simple components that guarantee healthy and happy ones
Table of Contents
- But first, what constitutes healthy relationships?
- Take your relationships seriously.
- Questions to ponder
- Related posts
But first, what constitutes healthy relationships?
Within these three general guidelines to healthy relationships, there are, of course, many nuances. And I will be going into more detail in later posts. This is all part of a new e-book I’m working on. For now, let’s look at the three components necessary for healthy relationships: trust, communication, and commitment.
Trust in relationships
Healthy relationships are built on several key elements that foster a nurturing environment for both partners.
Trust is foundational; it enables individuals to feel secure and confident in one another, fostering a sense of safety.
Communication is equally important; open and honest dialogue enables both partners to express their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.
Commitment is the foundation on which trust and communication thrive.
For instance, in a trusting relationship, one person might confide a personal struggle, knowing that the other will listen sympathetically and keep their confidence. This understanding creates a safe space where vulnerability can occur, allowing deeper connections to flourish. Building trust in relationships is crucial for creating a strong and healthy connection with others.
Consistency in your words and actions is vital for earning someone’s trust. When you consistently follow through on your promises and commitments, it helps build trust over time. There is nothing that destroys trust faster than continual failure to keep commitments.
Building trust takes time and effort from both parties involved. It’s a gradual process that requires patience, understanding, and commitment. By practicing these principles, you can cultivate trust in your relationships and nurture deeper connections with those around you.
We should trust our friend enough that we feel free to share our deepest hurts if necessary. We should trust them enough to show them our tears. An example of trust could be when one person acknowledges the other’s need for space during stressful times and trusts that it has nothing to do with them.
A way to evaluate.
From personal experience, I find most people have no problem offering support during difficult times. However, truly rejoicing in our friend’s achievement or conversely their rejoicing about ours, is sometimes not so easy. Miriam and Aaron had this problem. They were jealous of Moses’ victories and felt God had overlooked them.
Perhaps the best barometer to evaluate a friendship is this: does your friend truly celebrate your success with you without jealousy? And perhaps the best barometer to evaluate our own Christian maturity is this: do we genuinely celebrate the victories of our friend without jealousy?
How trust is demonstrated varies in each relationship, depending on the type of communication that occurs, the amount shared, and the duration of the friendship. For myself, trust is defined like this:
Could I share my most secret fear with this person and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they wouldn’t use it against me in the future? If I can answer yes to that question, it means I trust them. What is our definition of trust?
I should add a caveat here. Even if you know whom you can trust, it doesn’t mean you will necessarily confide in them your worst fears or mistakes. That’s not the point. It means if you ever decide to, you know who you can go to. I think many things are left between us and God.
Communication in relationships
In healthy relationships, good communication is the cornerstone that paves the way for understanding, empathy, and respect. When we engage in open and honest dialogue, we create a safe space where we can share our thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities without the fear of judgment. This level of communication not only fosters a deeper connection but also strengthens the bond between people, allowing them to navigate challenges together. By consistently practicing active listening and expressing their needs and desires, both partners can build trust over time.
Furthermore, as we voice our emotions and experiences, we begin to appreciate each other’s perspectives. We each grow as individuals because we expose ourselves openly to various perspectives on numerous issues. We need to engage in regular conversations about our lives and what is going on. This deepens our friendships, ensuring that both people feel valued and heard in every aspect of their lives.
I often fail at this. I’m not good at sharing my fears with my friends. But that’s because I share with my husband, who is my very best friend. Hopes and dreams? Pretty much. Fears? Seldom. But I’ll bet I’m not the only one. When we admit our fears, we truly make ourselves vulnerable. And if we admit our fears to an untrustworthy person, we put ourselves in a situation where those fears can be used against us, which is why the next dimension of a healthy relationship is so crucial.
Commitment in relationships
We commit to so many areas in our lives, but we seldom think about the commitment to our friendships. Marriage, yes. That’s obvious. But what about our friends? Isn’t it true that what we are committed to gets our best effort? So why not friendships?
We show our commitment to our friends by keeping our word. By connecting with them, encouraging them, and, most importantly, praying for them. While this isn’t a post about prayer, praying for our friends shows the level of commitment we have.
When I began writing this post, respect was the third tool I chose. But as I thought about it I realized something. Why would we choose to be friends with someone we didn’t respect anyway? I sure wouldn’t.. So I left that out for those reasons.
Take your relationships seriously.
By that, I don’t mean never have fun. Gosh, no. If I can’t laugh with someone, you can be sure I won’t be close friends with them. I will support them, listen to them, and help them in any way I can. I will certainly pray for anyone who needs my prayers. But will I have a close relationship with them if I can’t laugh with them? No.
I love laughing with my friends. Thank goodness, they all have a good sense of humor, but a couple of them are downright funny. I love that.
Taking our relationships seriously means trusting them, communicating effectively with them, and being committed to them.
Questions to ponder
TRUST:
How do I define it?
Who in my life do I trust the most and why?
Communication:
How are you doing with this?
Are you communicating often?
Committment:
How committed are you?
How are you showing it?
God bless and have a great rest of your week.
