“Why haven’t I noticed that about them before?

When people surprise us and we ask, why didn’t I know that?

Why we are confused when people surprise us.

It always comes as a shock when people we’ve known for a long time surprise us by their behavior. It really throws us for a loop and if it’s questionable behavior, we shake our head in confusion. Is this the same person I’ve always known?

You feel like someone has finally found your switch and turned on the lights.

I said to myself, “Why hadn’t I noticed they were like that before this?” At first, I was unsettled by this new awareness but now I’m just fine with it. I can love this person anyway. Despite my disappointment.

But there are benefits when we are confused

I personally believe this is how God means for us to live. To love others, yes, but to exercise freedom from situations that weigh us down and that we can’t change anyway. Christ often walked away from people and situations when there was no openness to His message.

  • When you accept that people are who they are, you become free to be who you are.
  • When you realize you can’t make them behave the way you want, you are free to behave the way you want.
  • When you realize they are going to do what they want to do, you are free to do the same without apology or explanation.

I’m not suggesting that we become hard and uncaring.


What do we do?

Only that we think a little before giving away all our emotional energy to situations we are not going to change. Real change can only come from within. That applies to the other people in our life as much as it does to us. This isn’t a case of “It is what it is”, except to the degree that it is what it is for now.

And now is the only moment in which we can live.

We can live in the “now” until other people catch up. And if they don’t, it might be sad and we might not like it, but we can move on.

God bless and have a good day.

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