How to Embrace Hope and Peace During Health Challenges
Outline
Hope Gets us through
Hope is what gets us through a lot, especially when you get a medical diagnosis you don’t want. Remember how I shared I’d been dealing on and off with anxiety lately? I also shared how it seemed really unusual. I attributed it to my husband’s heart attack at the end of July. That made sense. Right?
So I started taking anti-depressants. They didn’t help, so I upped the dose. I felt worse. In the meantime, I had an appointment with my PA. I mentioned how I felt light-headed at times when my husband and I walked. She listened to my heart and said my heart murmur sounded a little stronger and that maybe we should get an echocardiogram. I did, and it didn’t show significant changes. So that was that.
I experienced overwhelming exhaustion, which was discouraging. One of the symptoms of depression is fatigue, but who doesn’t get tired now and then? But this was different. It felt like someone pulled a plug in my body, and my energy went, “Whoosh.” I had no choice but to lie down, and I would sleep 2-3 hours. I hated that.
There was also this nagging cough. I attributed it to allergies, but I had never experienced these symptoms before. At my last medical exam, the PA told me my lungs were very healthy, so I knew it was nothing like that. Who knew a nagging cough be an indication of a heart condition?
Additional issues
A few weeks later, when my husband and I were walking again, I got so light-headed that I couldn’t continue. Usually, I was able to rest for a few minutes and continue. This time, I couldn’t. He went to get the car and came back to pick me up. That’s when he insisted I get in touch with our PA again. She agreed we needed to do more and ordered a Holter (a type of heart monitor) for me to wear for two weeks. I was hopeful it would show nothing.
That was December 10. Long story short, I have AFib. Out of the 14 days I wore it, I was in AFib for six days, possibly longer, because the monitor showed I was in AFib the very minute it was activated, which means I could have been experiencing it for many days prior. During that time, my heart rate went as high as 195 bpm and as low as 45 bpm. I should add that I felt perfectly fine the whole time. However, I was extremely tired on some of those days, but it was the Christmas season, so who wasn’t?
AFib is a serious condition, but the diagnosis isn’t terminal or anything like that. It can be managed by a variety of treatments, including medicine. I have a referral to a cardiologist, who will tell me what the next step is. My son has the same condition as did my mother. It can mimic anxiety and even cause it.
Hope
You should know I live a very healthy lifestyle. I don’t drink alcohol (never have), don’t smoke, and eat pretty healthy (very little red meat and salads twice a week), although I do like dessert, but even then, I’m pretty disciplined. I walk 40 minutes on average, six days a week. I am regular with my devotional time as well. My husband and I are very close. My relationship with my children is great. I have good friends.
I tell you all this so you can see that I’m the least likely candidate for this diagnosis.
Until I see the cardiologist, I will be taking a baby aspirin. As to whether or not I will need an ablation or cardioversion remains to be seen. My only restriction is to rest when I am tired, and if I feel light-headed when I’m in a resting state, to head to the ER. (I didn’t like hearing that. AFib itself does not cause a heart attack, but I am five times as likely to have a stroke. And, of course, I’m sure the cardiologist will make sure there are no other heart issues.
But I have hope
Since I received this diagnosis, though, I have been completely at peace. Knowing it wasn’t all in my head made a big difference. And maybe I’m in denial (a friend says I am ), but I honestly don’t have any sense of impending doom. Of course, I’m not happy with the diagnosis, but I don’t see it impacting my life negatively. I have to be cognizant of how I’m feeling and not push myself if I’m really tired. As long as I have no other heart issues, I’m not overly concerned. After I see the cardiologist, I may think otherwise, but I’m hoping not.
So many things have been clearer for me, though, once I realized I had a possible serious condition. My husband totally gets this, as he said the same thing after his most recent heart attack. Things have come into sharp focus. God’s purpose has been reinforced. I know writing is my legacy, and my books will live much longer than I will.
Current projects
I am currently working hard on my newest novel about a woman who (I have to be somewhat vague here, sorry.) experiences God’s call on her life most unusually. She interacts with a variety of people, and their lives are changed for the better. I am excited about it and it’s going well..
I am also working on my next non-fiction. This one is about freedom in Christ. What does that really mean? I have the concept and am playing around with ideas, etc. Of course, I’m reading a lot of Scripture as usual. I find it interesting that since my diagnosis, I feel “freer” myself. God always knows what he’s doing. Why do I doubt his plan so often? And I do. But I can see his plan unfolding, and when I look back over the last few months, a lot of things have become clear.
Finally
I shared all this with you because if you have a health issue, haven’t been feeling good, whatever, don’t be afraid to pursue it further. And if, like me, you get a diagnosis you weren’t expecting, God will help you deal with it. Keep hope alive. I consider myself fortunate that this is the only medical issue I am dealing with because I know so many who are dealing with so much more. Mine is totally treatable, doesn’t require miserable drugs or procedures, and isn’t terminal. It isn’t painful and isn’t really impacting my life. I feel blessed.
I hope you have a blessed day.
