FAITH, LIFE, moods

When the fear wakes you up and your heart races

We are at our cabin. Our adorable little red cabin.

I’m sitting in the porch of my she-shed which is “adorabler”. (I know.)

But I am sharing this because even when everything is perfect, or maybe because everything is perfect, satan can attack as fast as a lion in wait for his next victim.

I was the victim.

You are caught so by surprise when satan ( I never capitalize his name) jumps out at you, your heart stops and then beats so fast, you feel as if you are on a roller-coaster that is about to careen off the tracks.

It had been a perfectly wonderful day. So when I woke up in the middle of the night terrified. I could not for the life of me figure it out.

I didn’t sleep well the rest of the night and the next day felt incredibly sad.

What’s all this about? It was a very “down” kind of a day which I rarely experience when we are at the cabin.

I had been working on my book the day before and I had joined a Zoom meeting for Hope Writers of which I am a member.

I enjoyed the meeting but I noticed my mood dropping a little as I compared myself to those I was listening to. I came up short. I was a bit discouraged even though I’m almost done with the book and feel really good about what I’ve written.

My husband had gotten up in the middle of the night to check on something that was hitting the roof. It is a tin roof and was raining really hard. He didn’t come back right away as he was checking outside and walked around the cabin. I didn’t know that and was scared something f had happened to him.

When he did come back, I sighed in relief, and fell back asleep and it was shortly after that I had that horrible anxiety attack.

That next day was the day, I was feeling so “down” and confused.

Thank goodness, I have studied my triggers over the years and know that on the rare occasion this happens, I need to examine the events of the few days prior.

As you can surmise, I did figure it all out.

The feelings of coming up short as compared to the other Hope Writers, and my husband not returning to bed right away, coupled with a bad nights’ asleep, all worked together beautifully as far as the enemy is concerned.

What a perfect opportunity I gave him.

So why did I share this and how can it help you?

First is all, never overestimate a good day, meaning always be prepared for the next day maybe being a not-so-perfect day. Because this is

just. how. life. works.

And when you have a bad day, don’t overestimate it either. Just because you have a bad day today doesn’t mean tomorrow will be more of the same.

I have a tendency to overestimate and overgeneralize both kind of days. Like most people I want every day to be wonderful and when they’re not, I get off kilter.

I am doing better. Yes, I did figure out that day but, honestly, there have been a number of them lately. It’s been almost twenty years since I have felt this way, so this is a little bit disconcerting.

I’m telling myself today that just like a lot of people, the pandemic and the riots are taking a toll and I’m trying not to over generalize or exacerbate my symptoms by being negative.

This is one of my favorite chapters, Psalm 91. Click on the picture to reveal.

You hang in there as well.

God bless and have a great day.

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