Holiday moods. How to master the ups and downs.
Table of Contents
- Holiday moods
- Understanding Your Moods
- Unrealistic expectations
- Self-Care Strategies for Boosting Moods
- Engage in meaningful activities
- Conclusion
- Related Posts
Holiday moods
Holiday moods are a real thing.
Everyone knows that. The holiday season brings a flurry of activities and deadlines. It brings joy, too. However, for many people, this time of year can also bring about feelings of sadness and loneliness. While everyone around seems to be embracing the holiday cheer, some find it difficult to escape the grip of the low-season blues.
Unlocking the cheer.
But there are ways to unlock the holiday cheer and master your moods during the holiday season. In this blog post, I will dive into the art of managing moods during the holiday season. You will find tools that will equip you to beat the low-season blues.
We’ll explore the reasons behind these emotions. and analyze their impact on our well-being. Finally, I’ll give you some strategies to help you navigate through the holiday season with a positive mindset.
(As I prayed for you who are struggling with depression during this season, ((I promised I would, remember?)) I was reminded how sometimes it’s hard to believe that prayer can help someone we don’t even know. Let’s face it. Sometimes we don’t even believe prayer helps us! Right? But God says pray in faith, believing, and I believe that praying for you is making a difference because God says it does.)
We want the ideal.
Picture this: you’re surrounded by loved ones, the air is filled with the aroma of freshly baked cookies, and colorful lights brighten up every corner. Yet, deep within, you can’t help but feel a sense of gloom that refuses to fade away. It’s a paradoxical experience and one that many individuals face during the holiday season. I’ve been there myself.
While I enjoyed crafting, decorating, and all things Christmas, I often found that when the big day arrived for our families to get together, I felt down. Was it a result of too much hype beforehand? Did I expect it to be like a Hallmark movie? Was I just tired? It could have been all those.
I don’t experience these low moods anymore and have learned how to keep my Christmas realistic while looking forward to it at the same time. I do what I enjoy and don’t compare myself to the hype on social media.
I’ve learned the ideal isn’t necessary. I enjoy it now, no matter what. So it’s important to look at the complexities that come with the season.
Complexities of the holidays
Understanding the complexities of holiday moods is crucial in overcoming them. Isolation, financial strain, and unmet expectations are just a few factors that can contribute to feelings of sadness and anxiety. By acknowledging and addressing the root causes, proactive steps can be taken to reclaim our joy and embrace the holiday.
We can embrace the holiday season with open arms and create lasting memories filled with warmth and laughter. But first, we need to look at some science behind the holiday blues.
The Science Behind Holiday Moods
The holiday season is often associated with feelings of joy and happiness, but for some individuals, it can also bring about a sense of sadness and melancholy. Understanding the science behind these holiday blues can help us navigate through them more effectively.
Increased cortisol and sad feelings
Research has shown that during the holiday season, there is an increase in stress hormones such as cortisol. This can be attributed to various factors, including financial strain, increased social obligations, and unrealistic expectations.
Additionally, the decrease in sunlight during the winter months can disrupt our circadian rhythm and affect our mood. (When will Congress ever act on this?)
Furthermore, the holiday season can serve as a reminder of past losses or difficult memories. It is common for individuals to experience grief or nostalgia during this time, which can contribute to feelings of sadness and loneliness. Losing a loved one is especially hard. My friend is from England, and every year, she gets homesick at this time of year, even though she’s lived most of her life in the US.
So the first step is recognizing that these feelings are normal but temporary. It’s important to accept that our moods fluctuate all the time. They’re seldom stable. However, our moods don’t have to determine our actions. But when we ignore them, we are apt to act on them. This is an important first step toward overcoming the holiday blues.
Understanding Your Moods
Triggers
But to effectively manage our moods during the holiday season, it is crucial to identify the triggers that contribute to them. By understanding what specifically causes us distress, we can take proactive steps towards addressing these triggers.
Triggers for you will be different than mine. Fatigue and lack of sleep are mine. I’m very prone to feeling overwhelmed when I don’t sleep well. Because I know this, I’m very disciplined with my sleep schedule. I’m not one to stay up till midnight working on a project. I easily could, but I’ve learned it doesn’t work for me and triggers low moods. No matter how tempted, I never do this.
While fatigue is a common trigger for many, not just me, clutter is a close second. And if there was ever a time of year for clutter, it’s the holidays.
Chaos and clutter
And I don’t mean the clutter that comes from a messy house. I mean the clutter that comes from looking at all your craft items and undone projects, and then panicking. This happened to me right in the middle of this post.
My husband is deer hunting near our cabin. I will join him in about three days. So this was going to be my big “crafting” weekend. I got all my supplies for my projects. The first day everything went well and then….
I had this particular project in mind, but no clue where to begin. So I brought out more craft supplies… Well, you know where this is heading, don’t you? Pretty soon, I had no idea what to do next, and I started to feel anxious. You know what I did?
I stopped and prayed. You see, I believe God is interested in how I feel. He wants victory for me, peace, joy. I prayed something to the effect of, “Lord, I’m sorry I let this get to me when there are so many more important things going on in the world. But can I ask that you give me peace about this and show me what to do next? I trust you and acknowledge I need your help. Lead me to make the right decisions.” You may find that silly, but God has never chastised me for praying about very practical things, but God has often allowed me to experience some struggles when I didn’t.
Therefore, over the years, I’ve learned to straighten up before I go to bed and have a plan for the next day. So, keep your holiday messiness in order if you are prone to anxiety.
Isolation
Another common trigger during this time of year is isolation. If our loved ones live a distance away, we may feel lonely or disconnected. It is important to recognize this loneliness and seek out opportunities for connection and support. Denying one’s feelings never works. Admitting them doesn’t mean you are letting them control you.
One of the most effective ways to combat feelings of isolation during the holiday season is to actively seek out connection and support. There are many ways to connect.
1. Reach out to loved ones: Make an effort to connect with family and friends, even if it means scheduling virtual gatherings or phone calls.
2. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with trusted individuals can provide a sense of belonging.
2. Volunteer or join community events: Engaging in activities that involve giving back to others can not only provide a sense of purpose but also create opportunities for social interaction.
3. Seek professional help if needed: If feelings of isolation persist or become overwhelming, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support.
Financial stress
Financial stress is another significant trigger for many people during the holidays. The pressure to buy gifts or participate in expensive activities can lead to anxiety and worry. Creating a budget and prioritizing spending can help alleviate some of this stress. I make a lot of handmade gifts. I’m also fortunate that many of the people on my list are OK with repurposed items from garage sales, thrift shops, etc.
The financial strain associated with the holiday season can be overwhelming for many individuals. However, some strategies can help alleviate this stress.
What you can do
Create a budget: Set a realistic budget for your holiday expenses, taking into account your income and financial obligations. Stick to this budget as much as possible to avoid overspending. Trust me, years from now, your loved ones will not remember the gifts they received this year. They will remember your hugs and kisses. They will remember the fun, the effort you put into making the season special.
Prioritize meaningful experiences over material gifts: Remember that the true spirit of the holidays lies in creating memories and spending quality time with loved ones. Focus on experiences rather than material possessions. I know what I’m talking about.
When my husband and I got married, we made a vow that our Christmases from then on would be one-eighty from what we experienced. They have been.
Explore alternative gift-giving options: Consider homemade gifts, acts of service, or experiences that don’t require a significant financial investment. These gestures can be more meaningful than store-bought presents.
Unrealistic expectations
Unrealistic expectations also affect our emotional well-being during the holiday season. Society often portrays a picture-perfect image of what the holidays should be like, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy or disappointment. Setting realistic goals and focusing on what truly brings us joy can help manage these expectations.
It’s a guess, but I’ll bet this applies to many of you. I think having high expectations is a good thing, but not unrealistic ones. And if you come from a dysfunctional background, you definitely want something different. But you can still keep it realistic.
Set realistic goals and expectations
Setting realistic goals and managing expectations can help alleviate stress and disappointment during the holiday season:
Reflect on what truly brings you joy. Incorporate this into your season. Others may not be on board, but do it for you. But be kind about it if it means this is something you must do by yourself. For example, maybe you want a solo early morning walk in the snow. Or perhaps you want a cup of coffee at your favorite coffee shop to work on your Christmas planning.
Take some time to identify the activities or traditions that genuinely make you happy during the holidays. Focus on these aspects and let go of any unnecessary expectations. It’s not wrong to carve out or even begin a Christmas tradition that’s just for you. It might even mean it’s better for everyone else as well.
Some tips
Communicate with loved ones: Have open and honest conversations with family and friends about your expectations for the holiday season. This can help manage everyone’s expectations and avoid potential conflicts. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. Have a plan for when it doesn’t.
Practice self-compassion. Remember that it is okay to prioritize your own well-being during this time. Set boundaries, say no when necessary, and give yourself permission to take care of your own needs.
Keep social media in perspective. If there’s one place that can bring our moods down, it’s social media. Remember, what people do on social media requires a lot of time, like decorating and baking. Be inspired by them, but don’t feel you have to meet those same standards.
Self-Care Strategies for Boosting Moods
Taking care of our physical and emotional well-being is crucial during the holiday season.
Sleep
Prioritize sleep. Getting enough restful sleep is essential for maintaining a positive mood and managing stress levels. Stick to a consistent sleep schedule and create a relaxing bedtime routine. It’s a rare day that I’m not in bed by ten and asleep by 11:00.
Physical activity
Engage in regular physical activity: Exercise has been shown to boost mood by releasing endorphins, our body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Find activities that you enjoy and make them a regular part of your routine.
Focus on your faith. Taking a few moments each day to focus on the story of Christmas, the people, the places, and the events. Take your own journey to Bethlehem. Consider focusing on one part of the Christmas story each day and see where it takes you. Question what you think you know.
Don’t be afraid to challenge what you’ve always believed. There’s so much more to the story.
Embrace gratitude
Practicing gratitude can have a profound impact on our mood and overall well-being. And there are so many ways to do this. And one of the best ways to improve our moods is to be grateful. I call it taking your “G” vitamin. It’s the most important vitamin you take.
Keep a gratitude journal
Take a few minutes each day to write down things you are grateful for this season. This simple practice can shift your focus towards the positive aspects of your life. Focus on the small things in your life that you take for granted. For me, it’s when I take a hot shower. Seriously. I always try to be grateful that I have hot water at the turn of a faucet. Millions in the world don’t.
Express kindness to others.
Take the time to express your appreciation to loved ones or even strangers who have made a positive impact on your life. This act of kindness not only benefits them but also boosts your own mood.
Let someone go ahead of you in line.
Offer a genuine smile.
Engage in conversation with an older person. Many years ago, my husband gave me a book for Christmas that I dearly love, A Cup of Christmas Tea. It shows the importance of connecting with older people. If you can, buy it or borrow it from your library and read it. It will warm your heart.
Give a harried young mother help if she needs it.
Give back
Try to catch the Amazon driver and tell him thank you. My daughter keeps cookies on her porch during the holidays for delivery people. Donate to a homeless shelter. Make little handmade gifts and leave them for people to find. If you knit, leave some scarves where others can find them. (You might want to leave a note so they know they can take them.) If you don’t knit, cut up some fleece for a scarf. I love being a Secret Santa, and there are as many ways to be one as there are people.
How about giving anonymous gifts? Can you imagine how your mood would be lifted if you were to find a small present? Do that for others. Leave a note so people understand it’s for whoever found it and to leave it for the next person, if they don’t want it. Obviously, homemade food items are not a good idea. Need some ideas? There is something called the Art Abandonment Project. I couldn’t find an actual website, but Facebook has a group dedicated to this. Check it out.
Participate in charitable activities or volunteer your time to help those in need. Giving back can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
Look for God
Even during challenging times, there are often small moments of joy or beauty that we can appreciate. Train yourself to look for these silver linings and savor them. Look for God in those moments. I find it amazing the ways God shows up when I least expect Him. Some people call them God-winks or God-sightings. I like God-winks myself. Many times, I sense God is smiling at me during these times.
God tries to reveal himself to us in ways we miss all the time. We expect him to show up during our private times with him, but it’s my personal opinion that he shows up more often throughout the course of our day. And I think the connections we make with others are where he shows up the most. And very often it’s through people we would never expect him to speak to us through.
I know someone with whom I have become friends this past year. If you’d told me a year ago that she and I would become friends, I would’ve told you, never! Her language is at best “salty”. She has some very strange views. But she also has the biggest heart. And she makes me laugh. When I’m around her, I sense I learn more about God. It’s hard to explain. I’m glad that while I was looking for God, she showed up. I never saw him coming
Engage in meaningful activities
Finding joy during the holiday season is about engaging in activities that align with your values and bring you fulfillment. If you really love baking fruitcakes and everyone in your family hates them, make them anyway and donate them.
If Hallmark movies are your thing, watch them. The point is to try and incorporate things you really enjoy. That’s how you make Christmas memories for the future.
But you have to know what brings you meaning in your life. As you go throughout the season, pay attention to what makes your heart leap with joy. Do more of that.
Create traditions
Establish traditions that hold personal significance for you and your loved ones. These rituals can create lasting memories and foster a sense of connection. For years, our family has read the Christmas story on Christmas Eve. My husband and I bake our special Anzac cookies by the dozen.
I have a tradition of always giving the women in our family some hand-crafted item in addition to a purchased gift. I briefly thought about not doing the “crafty” thing anymore. You wonder sometimes if all the work you put into something is really appreciated. But you know what I decided? I decided this is something I truly enjoy doing at Christmas. So, I’m doing it because of the joy it brings me.
Traditions can change, too. We can let some go, but we can also start new ones. Sometimes new people come into our lives with their traditions. Don’t hang onto yours too tightly because you might miss out on some new ones that you will love even more. We can almost always keep versions of our old traditions while embracing new ones.
Be present in the moment
Practice mindfulness by fully immersing yourself in each experience during the holidays. Pay attention to the sights, sounds, and smells around you. I have to work at this myself. I’m often thinking about the next thing. Don’t do that.
There is so much excess of everything at Christmas that it’s hard not to get fully immersed. I don’t even mind waiting in long lines because that’s part of Christmas. I find it fun. Besides, if I don’t, I’ll only get annoyed, and that steals my joy.
Capture moments
Take photos or keep a journal to document your holiday experiences. These mementos can serve as reminders of joyful times in the future. Even if you never journal, at least journal during the Holiday season. It will be beneficial for you next year. Keep track of what worked and what didn’t. What you enjoyed and what you didn’t.
Embrace spontaneity
Allow yourself to let go of rigid schedules and plans. Embracing spontaneity can lead to unexpected moments of joy and connection. I’m not good at this either, but I’m getting much better. For example, the first beautiful snowfall, thrown on your coat, and get out there. Or, take a few minutes for a cup of tea or coffee and read for a few minutes. These distractions improve your mood..
Conclusion
The holiday season can be a time of mixed emotions. By understanding the science behind our moods and implementing strategies to manage them, we can unlock holiday cheer. We create a more joyful experience for ourselves and those around us.
Remember that it is normal to experience ups and downs during the holidays, but with self-awareness, self-care, and a focus on gratitude, we can navigate through the blues with resilience and embrace the true spirit of the holidays.
We can have the Christmas we want in our hearts. Maybe everything around us is chaotic, but we can have peace within during the holiday. Each of us has to find our own way to peace, but we all can. Make a determined effort to embrace this Christmas season with joy.
God bless.
