The night it all happened for me. Part one.

I have shared how I’m writing a devotional book for Christians who struggle with depression. Originally, the book was going to be in a typical book format, not a daily devotional. So much of what was in that first book will not be included with the new format.

But I got to thinking, I’ve already written it so why not share it with all of you? So soon you will be getting the chapters of the book that can’t be included. This is a sampling. You will get the rest of this introduction next week.

“I almost didn’t go in the building that balmy summer evening and if I hadn’t I might have missed one of the most important calls God has ever placed on my life. 

I hadn’t wanted to attend this women’s bible study but my husband had insisted. He knew I was lonely. He knew I loved Bible studies, having led many of them up to this time. But this was a new church and I didn’t know anyone. He also knew I often let fear stand in my way. I didn’t want’ to let him down.

I stood outside the large wooden doors of my new church feeling as heavy in my heart as those doors looked.  I watched as groups of two or three women, all well-groomed and talking excitedly with each other, opened the doors effortlessly, and cheerfully entered the building.

I hadn’t wanted to come to this Bible study; I didn’t know anyone and I don’t like being a part of a group.  If I’d been the leader I would’ve sailed through the doors, being the typical Type A personality that I am.

No one approached me or asked me to join them. Why would they? 

I, too, was well-groomed and acting as though I had not a care in the world.  (“Acting as if”, an important tool I will discuss later.) My mask was securely in place. (I guess, considering the present situation, I have to explain this wasn’t a real mask.) Had those women seen the insecurity that was oozing beneath my skin, they would have had pity on me. But I was acting just like they were.

The rest of the what happened that night is an experience I have never forgotten. I hope you will come back next week top read it.

God bless and have a safe weekend.

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