close up of human hand

Fail or Succeed? The questions and answers

Fail or succeed?

Fail or succeed? Which do you choose? It’s hard to believe anyone would choose failure. However, when you consider all the things we do to sabotage success, I think it just might be true.

close up of human hand with thumbs up/ fail or succeed

Why is that, do you suppose?

It’s really not that complicated. To be successful in any pursuit means our lives will change and as much as we might like success, we’d just as soon have success without the change. It’s kind of like winning the lottery.

For example, I’d like to win the lottery but only up to a certain amount of money, maybe ten million or less. But five hundred million or more (as the most recent lottery winner can add to his bank account), I don’t think so.

I mean that. (My husband doesn’t agree.)

I wouldn’t want the responsibility and I wouldn’t want the fame, the headaches, and the time that would no longer be mine to spend as I like. My life would be consumed with managing all that money.


When my husband started traveling internationally, we were really excited at first. However, we noticed how family and friends viewed what they considered our sudden success. It was as if we’d won the lottery.  But eventually adjusted and realized we were the same people we always were.

While it was fun to accompany him at times, there were also those long absences. It was hard work for both of us.  We’re much happier now that he is not traveling so extensively. I guess this wasn’t a case of being afraid of success as we had no time to get afraid because it happened so fast.


If the book I’ve written (yet to be submitted to a publisher) were to get published, in other words, succeed, would it change me?

And if a lot of people actually read it, how would I feel? Would people think of me differently?

Yes, I would love to see my book on the bookshelves at Barnes and Noble, but I would be afraid of what might happen next. What if family and friends read it? What would they think of me? Seeing as the book is about my struggles with depression that I kept hidden for years, would that change their opinion of me?  What if they started to treat me differently? What if they were embarrassed by what I wrote?

It’s interesting that we don’t ask ourselves the other questions that are just as likely to be true. What if our family and friends were proud of us and no one thought differently of us? What is our success would be celebrated by all we knew?

Fail or succeed? The fear

a fearful woman having claustrophobia in a cardboard box/fail or succeed

Fear of success is just as powerful as fear of failure. Another way of saying this might be: We’re afraid we will fail at success.

It’s why I’m afraid to submit my book proposal. It’s why I’m afraid to try and sell one of my paintings.  I would probably feel like it was a mistake, that it was a fluke.  What would I do with success? Would I have to change? What would I have to give up?

However, fear is not innately a negative emotion. We always think it is but it doesn’t have to be. What are you afraid of? Is it failure or could it be success? When we answer those questions, we might find the direction we need.

God bless and have a good day.