I woke up in the wee hours of the morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. What I did next is important. But first I need to point out that insomnia is often a trigger and a symptom of depression. When I couldn’t get back sleep within about thirty minutes, I decided to get up and go downstairs to the sofa. I had a very quick moment when I almost panicked——but I didn’t.
Here’s what I did instead. I admitted that there was something that was bothering me. I also admitted that there was nothing I could do about it. It was not my dilemma and it could certainly affect me but,
I knew I would survive.
Besides, pain is as much a part of life as is joy. I decided if it ended up hurting me, then I would let it hurt. I refused to let it make me bitter or mad. If I had, I knew the pain would last longer and hurt more. Life is like the weather-sometimes it’s sunny, sometimes it’s cloudy.
We appreciate the sunshine because of the rain.
Besides, rain doesn’t kill anyone.
I eventually fell asleep feeling a sense of peace. I decided I had too much good in my life to be hurled into a pit of depression again. I decided to protect my heart. God says we should guard our heart. I understand that to mean that I don’t have to put myself in harm’s way. I can let other’s actions and their consequences remain with them.
I woke up the next morning still feeling peaceful and that sense of peace stayed with me.
PS (I wrote this post over four years ago. And guess what? I couldn’t even tell you what was bothering me so much. Obviously, it wasn’t that bad or I would remember it. I think the lesson is really in this postscript. We make far too much of situations sometimes. We allow ourselves to “buy ” into a drama that isn’t ours and we end up with nights like the one I described)