Are some people destined to be givers?
Giving is a gift some people are born for. God endows each of us with spiritual gifts and giving is one of them. (Romans 12:8) Many interpret this as referring to financial giving above and beyond. But it also refers to giving in general. And if you have the gift of giving you are probably doing both. It’s fairly easy to write a check (or Venmo, credit card, or however you tithe). However, it’s much harder to give of yourselves,meaning your emotional support and your time.
While giving can bring immense joy and fulfillment, both to the giver and the recipients of their generosity, givers need to receive as well. It’s crucial to maintain a balance in life. Sometimes, givers may find themselves constantly giving without receiving in return. This can thus lead to burnout, resentment, or feeling unappreciated. Burnout then can cause that same generous person to quit being so generous.
Not necessarily physical giving
In this post, I am referring more to emotional giving not physical giving. I think a lot of attention is given to the other anyway but not so much the emotional. When you think about it, Jesus didn’t build houses for anyone. He didn’t help people in a physical way like we think about today. His giving was the emotional giving of himself. Actually, it’s a lot easier to do the other because we can work on all kinds of projects but not really give of ourselves. And giving of ourselves can bring a lot more pain when it’s not reciprocated.
We give by how we interact with others
Even our interchange and conversations with others can be seen as giving. People like to think you are emotionally invested in them. One of the ways to do that is to always show interest in the other person. Make it a point to ask a friend or acquaintance about their lived and how their loved ones are doing? This is the one absolute most important things to address in a conversation with anyone and everyone. Nothing makes a person feel better than when you ask about themselves or their loved ones.
The statement, “People remember how you made them feel more than they remember what you said” is one hundred percent true. Think back on your own life. Haven’t you experienced this?
But there’s a flip side to giving
But it’s essential to remember that it’s okay to receive as well. Everyone deserves to receive love, kindness, support, and help when needed. Allowing yourself to receive doesn’t diminish your ability to give; it replenishes your energy and enables you to continue being a source of positivity and support for others.
If you find yourself always in the role of the giver and struggling to be a receiver, it’s important to reflect on your boundaries and self-care. Setting boundaries around your time, energy, and resources is crucial. You need to ensure that you maintain a healthy balance in your relationships to prevent feelings of of exhaustion or resentment.
Remember, self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary for your well-being. Taking care of yourself allows you to show up as the best version of yourself so you can effectively help others.
If you feel like you’re always the giver and struggling to find a balance, here are a few steps you can take:
Steps to avoid burnout
Reflect on Your Motivations:
Understand why you feel the need to always give. Is it because you derive joy from helping others, or is it driven by a need for validation or acceptance? Many, many Christians give tirelessly because they are indeed seeking man’s approval. Make sure you believe you are validated and accepted by God. Think deeply about this because understanding your motivations keeps one from burning out.
Keep your giving private.
This frees you from feelings of resentment from those who don’t give back. Maybe that’s why Jesus said, “Keep your giving to yourself.” If you find yourself sharing too much of what you are giving to others, no matter what form, it’s self-aggrandizement. Humility is what is needed.
Practice Self-Compassion.
Be kind to yourself and recognize that it’s okay to prioritize your own well-being. Treat yourself with the same kindness and care that you extend to others.
Set Boundaries in your giving
Learn to say no when you need to and communicate your needs to others. Setting boundaries is an essential part of self-care and allows you to have healthy relationships based on mutual respect.
Practice Gratitude.
Be grateful you have this gift. When others don’t reciprocate and you feel sad you can rejoice because you are feeling exactly has Jesus must have often felt. What? You think Jesus didn’t experience hurt feelings? You think a betrayal by one of your best friends didn’t hurt? Remember, Jesus divine AND human. Of course, his feelings were hurt.
Seek help when you need it
Don’t be afraid to reach out for help or support when you need it. Whether it’s from friends, family, or a professional, talking about your feelings and experiences can provide valuable insights and guidance.
We are not defined by a single role.
You are not defined by any single role in your life. But sometimes we get so entrenched in our behavior that it takes an act of God to change our course. I know someone for whom this happened. They’ve always taken care of others and their needs. Now they are having to depend on someone else for everything. This is a humbling experience as it would be for most of us. But we all need to receive at some point in our lives.
Embrace the complexity of being both a giver and a receiver, and strive for a healthy balance that allows you to thrive personally and in your relationships with others.
But the most important point to remember is this: Giving may be one of your spiritual gifts. While it exits on it’s own a gift mentioned earlier, it would also be considered a gift of encouragement. If you determine this is your gift take steps as listed above to keep you excited about your gift. I think giving might just be one of the hardest gifts to continue over the long haul because it opens us up to disappointment.
Galatians 6:9 says, “We should not grow weary of doing good.” This is never more true than when you find yourself constantly in the role of being the giver.
Are you a giver?
Is it your gift?
Do you get discouraged at times?
Giving is a wonderful gift to have. Embrace it and let it grow within you. You might never know how your gift might change someone’s life.
God bless and have a great day.
- Are You Hearing the Spirit’s Voice? Four ways to know.
- How To Find Joy In God When Life Feels Heavy
- How to confront honestly and with integrity.
- What does a simple life look like for you?
- Exaggeration is too common. But not God.
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