Wanted to encourage those of you today who are struggling with your recovery from depression. Sometimes it feels like you’re never going to get better. That’s scary. You’re sure you can’t take another day, no, not even another minute, of this misery.
Just like in the grieving process, we recover from depression in leaps and bursts. We feel we’re never going to get better. We have a number of good days, and then, bam, a bad one hits us between the eyes. It even gets down to moments.
Good moments are intercepted by bad ones. Depression, by its very nature, flings us all over the emotional spectrum. It’s part of the process of healing. Just like the learning curve, it’s never a straight line. It’s almost always a roller coaster ride. Eventually, it evens itself out.
Moods, in general, are seldom very stable, anyway. It’s a rare person whose moods remain consistently even. Some people are just naturally more of the “even-keel” type of personality. My husband is one of these. He’s the most stable person I’ve ever met. But he, too, has suffered depression.
Depression knows no distinction. Anyone, no matter how clever, talented, rich, intelligent or educated, can suffer from depression. It is also well-known that depression affects more women than men and older people more than younger ones. And yet depression doesn’t confine itself to these parameters. It can strike anyone.
When we’re having a “roller-coaster” kind of day, it’s discouraging, yes, but it doesn’t mean your recovery is in jeopardy. On these kinds of days, it pays to look over your day and try to see some cause and effect. And there is always a cause and effect. Your moods don’t jump all over the place for no reason. Just don’t give up. So let me ask you, how has your day been? Has it been up and down? Can you pinpoint any causes?
It’s a learning curve
When I started blogging I got so discouraged. I mean, my learning curve was unbelievable. While I had used a computer for years, nothing prepared me for setting up a blog because I didn’t understand any of the terminologies. Seriously, it took me months to figure out all the bells and whistles.
I look back on some of my older posts and wonder, “What was I thinking”? Half the time, I didn’t even add any tags. Honestly, I don’t know how anyone ever found my blog. Now I can talk blog language pretty well. I’ve even figured out a little HTML. Whoa!
Requires hard work
All of this is just to say that almost anything important is hard work. There are some things that come easily to us, but even then, refining them takes work. When I started painting, it came pretty easy, but I spent hours painting everything grey until I figured out the art of mixing colors.
Measuring success not easy
Depression is harder, of course. There’s no way to measure your success except by measuring your emotions, which certainly isn’t easy when you’re depressed. If you’re doubting how your recovery is going, ask someone close to you if they’ve noticed a difference. I can always tell when the people in my life are doing better even before they can.
So no matter where you are in your recovery, take heart knowing that the roller coaster ride you’re on doesn’t mean you’re recovery is in jeopardy. If you’re working on your depression, you are going to get better. Don’t give up.
With work, medication and/or cognitive therapy, depression gets better. It’s actually a self-limiting illness, although it doesn’t feel that way when you’re wandering around in the pit.
8 thoughts on “roller coaster depression”
Talking can make it worse but at the same time you may find out things deeper. Its a double edge sword really. Some thing I know for me I never want resurfaced, replayed, and some Im just wowed at funding out it was even there. I hope you are doing okay now, Doreen. Med are also a double edge, I am one who always thinks Okay I am better and I get off them. I might be okay, weeks, months, but in the end it just gets worse. So I learned to fight through the cruddy adjustments and let the chemicals get right. Because as you said Rebecca and I to say it frequently, depression is not who or what we are, its only what we were given to show our own strength and fight, as unfair as it may seem.
Thoughts and prayers to you both.
Thanks danagidner. We are all here for each other.
You know, I agree with you about the cognitive therapy. It really helped snap me out of a deep depression – but it was definitely a lot of work. I was taking medication too at the time, so I really needed the therapy on top of it. Of course, there have been times (mixed episodes) when therapy made things worse – too much paranoia and cycling – but I digress from the topic. Thanks for your hopeful post.
Thank ou so much for commenting. And yes, I agree, sometimes talking about it makes it worse. How are you doing now? God bless you tonight.
Rebecca, I’m doing really well now. Now that I’ve fully accepted that I have bipolar disorder and that I need to fully comply with my treatment I think things will only get better. Thanks for asking.
Doreen, Don’t know why my reply isn’t showing up where it should but I’m so glad you’re doing better. I think acceptance is a place to begin. Even though I don’t have bi-polar I, too, sometimes have a hard time between acceptance and then fighting back.. I’m sure they can both co-exist but finding that balance sometimes can be hard. God bless.
I want to thank you once again for your blogs. I ‘survived’ a suicide attempt in August of last year. It turned my life around but by no means did it end my depression. It hrlped to really see I am not alone, there are so many who can relate. I now help a group on facebook “Rockers For Suicide Awareness” knowledge is power. May god be with you every day, even when you dont feel him, hes there.. I believe that is why I am still here.
I am so glad you were rescued. And yes, you’re right, you would think a suicide attempt would turn everything around and depression would be a thing of the past. But depression isn’t usually an event as much as it is a condition. It requires continual monitoring. However, after a while I can almost assure you that it will be your history but not your present. God bless you and strengthen you every day.
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