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Emotional energy, how to restore. # 3 in stepping-away

Emotional energy is reason # 3 for stepping away for a while.

Table of Contents

What is emotional energy?

Emotional energy is the feeling we have when we feel rested, our minds are clear, and we look forward to the day.

I’ve written about this subject a lot, probably because for most of my life I depleted my supply of emotional energy on a daily basis.

I think there are three reasons we do this.

We don’t know there is such a thing as emotional energy.

Well, there is and it’s in limited supply. Emotional energy is like physical energy. We tire physically and emotionally. In fact, studies have been done that prove when we think we are physically tired, it may be emotional tiredness instead. The stresses of life task our emotions as much as they do our minds and bodies.

We’ve all experienced this. We say, “I’m so tired, I can barely move.” And then someone calls when an invitation to do something, and our energy revives. A depletion of emotional energy often shows up as tiredness. But we haven’t heard the concept so we don’t pay attention throughout our day to our we are handling situations.

We don’t know what depletes it.

When we figure out it’s our emotions that have brought on the fatigue, we still might find it difficult to determine exactly what was going on that day that caused it to wane. Things seem to be as normal. Nothing unusual happened.

But maybe it isn’t the unusual anyway. Maybe it’s the constant feeling of having to be “up”. Or maybe a certain person that you think you’ve learned to handle their cutting remarks is getting under your skin more than you think.

Are you comparing yourself to someone else all the time and arent’ aware of it? Women are experts in this. Maybe there is some problem that is nagging at you and you can’t resolve it.

It’s important to accept the fact that emotional energy is a very real thing, that just like any other energy source, we must recognize its limitations and we must protect it. We need to learn our to restore it as well.

We don’t know how to restore our emotional energy.

But how do we do that? We know that rest and sometimes exercise, restores our physical energy. We know that we clear our minds through various means mentioned yesterday, and that restores our mental energy.

But how do we restore this nebulous emotional energy? This is one of the three (Actually, there are four which I will mention at the end of this post) that seems to me that can’t be restored as easily. It is somewhat restored through physical and mental rest but because we are usually so out of touch with our emotions, it’s not recognized until it’s completely depleted. In this case, we restore it for the future, not the present, for tomorrow but not necessarily today

How do we restore our emotional energy?

Recognize what drains us emotionally.

Think about the last time you felt really tired but there was nothing you did that made you tired. You slept well. You’ve eaten well and exercised. But you come to the end of the day exhausted.

Something or someone (they are called emotional vampires) drained your emotional energy that day and if you look back over your day, you’ll identify it. Is there a situation that is always staring you in the face but you can’t resolve it? Is there a person who never really says anything unkind to you really but you don’t actively seek out their company? What about a close friend that maybe doesn’t have your best interest at heart? How about a task that you keep trying to avoid and it weighs on your mind?

Attitudes Matter

Attitudes affect emotional energy.

All of these are emotion-energy-depleters. When we recognize those situations and people that drain us emotionally, we have two choices. We can avoid them (situations and people), and if we can’t we can develop some strategies that equip us with some workarounds.

Identify the circus

I can’t give you specific answers for those energy-depleting people and situations but I can offer some great advice that kind of works for all of them. I’ve quoted it often on this blog and I’m about to do it again. You’ve all heard it but it’s worth hearing again. This has become one of my mantras and squarely lines up with biblical principles.

white and brown horse carousel

“It’s not your circus and it’s not your monkeys.”

Embrace the concept

This is one of the most important concepts you can embrace to keep up your level of emotional energy. It absolutely does not mean that you never step into a situation or crisis that isn’t your responsibility. Think the Good Samaritan. There are certainly times we are all called to help someone in crisis for which we have no responsibility, An older person whose car has broken down on the side of the road or a stranger who needs food. Perhaps, the crisis in another country that maybe needs financial help. But that’s not what the circus and monkey statement is all about. We create a plan for future emotion drainers.

The bible clearly states in Proverbs 20: 3, 26:17, and I Thessalonians 4:11 to avoid these situations.

Avoid the circus.

However, if in a private conversation someone asks your opinion, you can voice your opinion. However, be very wary of what you say or you will find some monkies living with you and draining your energy!

So how do we avoid the circus that isn’t ours? We need to be consciously aware when we are being drawn into a situation where we clearly have no responsibility and no solutions to offer. People try to draw us in all the time, family squabbles being the most obvious.

Have a plan

You simply have to have a plan to stay out of the fray. Ongoing strife is not God-honoring. You may have to physically walk away or you may have to decide there are certain family functions you simply can’t attend. You may have to learn to gently but firmly tell others that you prefer not to offer your opinion. Walk away if you’re opinion isn’t going to help, especially if you are in a group of people.

Nothing drains our energy more than when we are caught up in someone else’s drama for which you don’t have a responsibility or an answer. Treat these like the plague if you want to conserve your emotional energy supply.

Start to pay attention to the drama in your life and ask yourself if it needs to be there.

God bless and have a good day.

A Final Energy

Remember, when I said there were four energies? I woke up in the middle of the night, or should I say God woke me up and reminded me there is a fourth energy. How did I miss that? This, like emotional energy, isn’t obvious but it’s important to know about. So next week I will address this fourth energy and update the other posts.