living in the moment

“You can’t live tomorrow today. You can’t live yesterday today. You can only live today’sday.” (This is just my way of saying we need to learn to live in the present moment. It’s really the only one we’ve got.)

I’ve been outside in my gardens  most of the day. I’m always surprised at how I can lose myself when I’m playing in the dirt.  I’m sure most of you have heard the word “flow”. It means when you’re so absorbed in what you’re doing, time loses meaning.  Hours can pass unnoticed till something jars you back to reality. That’s what playing in my garden does for me. I need a lot of “flow” now. It’s been a stressful winter.

Somehow a spring day feels like a gift from above. Seeing my roses tease me with their tiny buds. Green stalks bursting out of the earth almost overnight. My gardens are pretty bare and I always forget that in a few months they will be lush with barely an open spot. I like the feeling of anticipation of not knowing what my gardens will look like. I forget from year to year what’s lurking beneath the dirt. The gardens are always evolving.  The winds have  scattered seed heads and when the flowers spring up they will surprise me in their new home. Underground spreaders are building highways underground and they, too, will shoot up willy-nilly where they will. It’s like a surprise gift I get to open all summer.

I think of my life and how my garden sometimes echoes how I feel. Sometimes I feel like I’m pushing through dirt and can barely breathe. Other times I feel like I’ve broken through some unknown barrier and I’m breathing freely and deeply. I sway in the breeze feeling light and carefree. Today that’s how I felt.  I was able to enjoy every moment without thinking about anything other than what I was doing. It felt good to give myself some breathing room.

We all need breathing room. It’s amazing how our perspective can improve if we just take the time to step away from a situation. Not so we can think more about it, but so we can’t. we don’t have to spend every minute trying to figure things out. Maybe the very act of taking a “thinking” break, lets us think more clearly. We can over over think almost everything. There’s come a point where worrying about something reaches a point where our thoughts are unproductive. Purposely putting things on hold and playing outside is about the most productive thing we can do.

Today was an ordinary day but I got to live it an extraordinary fashion. Don’t we wish everyday could be like that? But I’m well aware that even though my day was spectacular, others were not so lucky. The clouds have moved from over my head elsewhere. They’ll be back but for today I’m just going to be grateful.