Walking on water without a life jacket is pretty hard to do. Actually, it’s impossible to walk on water anyway.
Unless you’re the Apostle Peter that is. And even he started to sink.
But don’t you feel that sometimes that’s exactly what you’re doing?
I think back to the two weeks before my mom died. I can say truthfully that God’s hand was reaching out to me and keeping me afloat just as Jesus reached out to Peter.
We don’t always have a life jacket. But we certainly always have God keeping us afloat.
It’s hard to always feel his strong arms holding us and keeping us steady but sometimes we’re acutely aware of it.
I know those two weeks were really hard but when I look back I don’t recall them as hard. Not in the sense of physical and emotional exhaustion. I really felt like the water beneath my feet was totally calm, like Lake Michigan when there is no wind. Like glass. Have you ever seen a lake that is totally calm? It’s really quite rare but it’s the most calming scene ever.
It’s almost like you could “spread” it on toast.
I never once felt like I was going to sink. While it’s still really hard because I miss her so much, I still feel like I’m walking on water. I still feel calm like that rare calm lake. Oh, it still hurts. A lot. I miss her so much but I remind myself I should. When you love someone and you lose them, you are supposed to feel sad.
If you are where I was and you are facing some really tough weeks, I want you to know that God is able to keep you afloat. Watching my mom die and being there when she breathed her last breath was the most heartbreaking experience I’ve ever known. At no time, though, was I unaware that God wasn’t aware of what I was going through.
We can have that reassurance that God is always aware of what we are going through. We don’t go through the tough times without God knowing about it.
I know what the next question is, “Well, why then doesn’t he prevent it, stop it, etc?” If I had a definitive answer that everyone could accept, I’d be a wealthy woman. Besides, so much of what happens to us is in our own hands, it’s hard to untangle it all.
Don’t you think I questioned, “Why, my mom? What did she ever do to deserve the events of her life the last year? Why her?”
Of course, I did. I told God I didn’t get it. I told God it wasn’t fair.
Did I get an answer that satisfied me?
Nope.
Did I get a life jacket, a way out? Can I avoid this grieving process?
No.but I felt that peace that surpasses all understanding, I felt calmed just like that lake.
But I felt that “peace that surpasses all understanding” as described in Philippians 4:6-8. I felt calm, just like a serene and calm lake.
If your seas are rough today, take heart. God will not let you sink.
God bless and I hope you have a good day.
