Why the overpowering need to feel happy every day?
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Happy Every Day?
Why do we think we’re supposed to feel happy every day?
Anticipating good things is, of course, good, but haven’t we all had days when no matter how much we hope for good, bad still happened? But I’m not referring to those days. That’s a whole different thing. I’m talking about days that we would’t classify as happy but not bad either. Just ordinary.
We don’t have to feel happy every day.
Ordinary days, not just happy days, can be good
I’m just talking about the comments that hurt us, the sour faces we run into (including our own), the projects that don’t turn out the way we want and the schedule that starts off slow and completely fizzles by the end of the day. That kind of a day.
We all have those ordinary days when nothing major happens. There’s nothing good or bad happening. There’s nothing to cheer about but nothing to cry about either. It’s a Monday and we’re doing Monday Mundane things.
I’m learning to really appreciate the mundane. Drama-free, I’m learning, is a very good thing. I don’t have to be “happy” every day to enjoy my day. That’s unrealistic at best.
Steps to keep your expectations normal
If you’re prone to depression, everyday occurrences can take a toll because we often anticipate more. We might manage normal, uneventful days when we’re in a positive emotional state.
However, during times when we’re struggling with low moods, these unremarkable days can sometimes exacerbate our feelings. This reaction is closely linked to having unrealistic expectations. Our perception of what constitutes an “okay” day is altered, and the gap between our anticipated and actual experiences can lead to greater distress.
So we need to learn to moderate our thinking so we can accept ordinary days,, be grateeful for them. them and not expect day to be a happy one. After all, an ordinary day is, in reality, a good day because it is ordinary, meaning nothing bad is going on. I don’t know about you, but drama-free days are something I appreciate.
When we expect everyday to be great, we set ourselves up for a downward mood swing.
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Quit evaluating your day.
While I want “good” days (you can define what “good” is for you), I have to remind myself that some days are just “days”-neither good nor bad. I don’t have to feel happy every day. We redeem those kind of days by doing small tasks where we can experience some completion and some success. It might just be cleaning a closest or straightening up a room. It might be a phone call or reading something we’ve been putting off. Whatever it is, it gives us a sense of accomplishment and breaks the cycle of constant evaluating of our day.
Constantly evaluating our day can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety. While reflection and self-assessment are important for personal growth, over analyzing every aspect of our day can be counterproductive. Here are a few reasons why it’s not good to constantly evaluate our day:
Reasons why not to constantly evaluate your day
- Increased Stress: When we constantly evaluate our day, we tend to focus on the negative aspects or mistakes we made. This can lead to increased stress and anxiety as we dwell on what went wrong instead of focusing on what went right.
- Perfectionism: Constant evaluation can fuel perfectionistic tendencies, making us overly critical of ourselves and setting unrealistic standards. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
- Reduced Satisfaction: Constantly evaluating our day can take away from the present moment and rob us of the satisfaction of simply experiencing life as it unfolds. It can prevent us from being fully present and enjoying the journey.
Setting realistic expectations and allowing yourself grace can lead to a healthier mindset and overall well-being. Remember, each day is a learning opportunity, and growth comes from both successes and setbacks. Here’s some tips to help:
- Look at each day as a gift from God.
- Appreciate the mundanes because it means there’s no crisis.
- Use mundane days refresh your mind.
So, for today, remind yourself, “It’s just a day, maybe not a happy day, but it’s a day. I don’t have to judge it or evaluate it. I can just live it.”
By the way, have a good one and God bless.
