What to do on a really tough day

Today is a tough day.

It’s my mom’s birthday. She died two months ago. I am going to visit the cemetery and wish her Happy Birthday. I’ve been dreading this moment. I had so hoped she would make it to this day but I didn’t want her to suffer either.

So what am I doing to do to get through the day?

Well, first I’m going to cry, probably a lot. I bought her a card yesterday. At first, it was going to be a birthday card but I settled on a “Miss You” card.

Also, I haven’t been feeling well since she died. Surprise, huh? I have IBS and have had my entire life and it’s flaring up big time now. When I was younger, I would go on a baby food diet. If it doesn’t get better, I may think about it again. I’ve tried probiotics, the yogurt, giving up coffee, etc. Nothing is working.

Did you know that serotonin is produced in the gut? So if I can’t get things to call down I may actually consider a mild anti-depressant for a short while. That will be after fifteen years of being pill-free. Many medications are used for other than the usual protocol. For example, anti[-depressants are often used for an IBS flare. You can check it out here.

So there’s that.

So how am I going to spend the day? How should you if you’re having a day like this?

I will have my devotions shortly and remind myself that God understands how I”m feeling and will provide a way escape (I Corinthians 10:13) as he always. has.

I will remind myself that death is as much a part of life as life, that I will get through this. (As I write this, I’m not buying my own rhetoric. Isn’t it crazy how we can know something in our heads, and yet we experience it completely differently? I wish my heart would hurry up to catch up.)

I will take my walk.

Because the cemetery is close to a couple of thrift stores, I may check them out.

I might read on the deck under the pergola my husband and built a few years ago.

As I write that really sounds good, iced tea, a good book and just maybe a nap outside. In other words, I plan to be very good to myself.

Sometimes that’s exactly what we should do.

It’s not selfish.

It’s not self-serving.

It’s survival.

God bless and have a good day.

ps. Tomorrow I’m going to tell you about a book that I can say is the best book I’ve ever read.

Rebecca

Hi. I'm so glad you're here. My blog focuses on faith and mental health issues such as mood disorders like depression, anxiety, and dysthymia (chronic low moods that don't qualify as depression.) I post DIY and decorating projects when I can. My book, "Depression Has A Big Voice. Make Yours Bigger! (Expanded Edition), is on sale at all online retailers. I have a Psychology degree and post-graduate courses in Clinical Pastoral Education. I am a former hospital chaplain, Bible teacher, and retreat/conference inspirational speaker. Thank you for visiting and may you feel God's presence today.

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